and maybe I could live forever

if that ever i had known
that you'd be waiting there whenever i'm alone


This is my most personal post ever. Real names. No mystery.

We had a show last night. I guess it went ok. I thought it was one of our worst. Cerah said it was one of our best. I just wish that we could figure out a way to get more people to show up. Every band I've been in I thought was pretty good at the time. This is the only band, though, that I will actually listen to our songs in my free time. I guess to me, that broke a threshold. I really think we could be great, but I just don't have the time or the energy for the marketing.

Lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about Breanne. It sucks. I really have moved on. I'm no longer interested. There are just little things I wish would have gone different when they still could.


Currently listening :
Leaving Through The Window
By Something Corporate
Release date: By 21 May, 2002

I'm never gonna dance again

guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool

Sometimes the truth can set you free.
Sometimes it can set you back.


The song above is called Careless Whisper, its originally a Wham! song, but I found this amazing version with Ben Folds and Rufus Wainright covering it. Any of you whom actually know me personally should really ask me to play it for you, because it is awesome. And if you don't know me personally, here is your chance to break the ice. Ask me about it.


Currently listening :
Ben Folds Five
By Ben Folds Five
Release date: By 25 July, 1995

Don't even know if I can write this song

caught on a beam between right and wrong
gotta keep forward, keep straight
for the sake of why we stay awake all night long
it's not up for interpret
paranoid of exploiting the verdict
but in the same breath
I got thoughts that I wanna express and let surface
this ain't for props or the pop culture
it's about a balloon that got punctured
the sunshine is fun til it burns someone
and we all got burned that summer
She was sixteen
another young angel with clipped wings
she came to the shows
but I never met her
don't even know if she was listening
that night, we lost a supporter
that night, somebody lost a daughter
he raped and killed her at the venue
I can't comprehend what her friends must've went through
that night, the sun went dark
now watch everyone on the tour bus fall apart
that night, Lord have mercy
the music died that night in Albuquerque


Sometimes I just don't understand.
Why we do what we do?
The choices we make.
Sometimes I think.
If I understood the why.
The choice wouldn't be so hard
Why do I need to decide
But I don't know
All I know is
I have to choose.
And this is a decision I don't want to make


Currently listening :
You Can't Imagine How Much Fun We're Having
By Atmosphere
Release date: By 04 October, 2005

(no subject)

Current mood: numb
Sometimes I'm just meant to be alone

Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.

There are so many situations that appear solid, that are actually very fragile. Relationships where nobody sees a divorce coming until the moment it happens. How often have you heard, "He may seem tough, but deep down he's just a softy."?

I think most of life is the other way around though. We are surrounded by decisions that seem easy, but deep down, they are hard. Very hard.

When Joel and Clementine are laying on their backs on the ice, and you can see the crack right next to them, it seems as if Gondry is trying to say something with that. You see it in their relationship, too. It may seem fragile, ready to break at any moment. It may seem as if they can't get along. But deep down, there is such a solid foundation that there is no way they will fall through the ice. The relationship has such a solid foundation, that a few cracks on the surface is not enough to take it down. No matter how daunting they look.

I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.


Currently watching :
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (Widescreen Edition)
Release date: By 28 September, 2004

Are there no shadows where you are?

I can see everything as day.
Problems that you try to hide away
Pushing me aside, your pushing me aside

Could the winter calm come twice?
Because your heart seems so cold tonight
Thirst for substance somehow isn't right
It's killing me inside (It's killing you inside)
Killing me inside

I don't wanna be where you are
I don't wanna be here even now
I don't wanna be by your side
If something isn't right
If something isn't right

This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
Words have no meaning
When I've seen where you've been

Sometimes the most intimidating things are those that are just out of reach, even though we want them so much.


Currently listening :
Never Take Friendship Personal
By Anberlin
Release date: By 01 February, 2005