Any minute now, my ship is coming in

I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean


Its Saturday! All day I've been thinking its Sunday, and I had been dreading going to work tomorrow, because I wanted just one more day to sit around and rest. Well, now I get it, and I can't wait for work on Monday.

Also, my band, nixon, was mentioned in yesterday's Star Tribune by local music writer Chris Riemenschneider:

Also performing tonight at the 400 is Nixon, another new trio whose five-song EP offers a promising, downbeat, Britpoppy sound (think Verve or less grandiose Coldplay). Love the band name, too.

Now, I don't know if I necessarily agree with his description of the sound, I never would have considered us Britpoppy, but I can't even begin to explain how exciting it is to be mentioned in the Strib, and to have a good (if brief) review, absolutely blows me away.


Currently Listening to
Going Somewhere
by Colin Hay

Watching terrible tv

It kills all thought
Getting spacier than
An astronaut
Making out with people
I hardly know or like
I can't believe what i do
Late at night
I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates
I see the beauty above
Only when we get to see
The aerial view
Will the patterns show
We'll know what to do
I know the last page so well
I can't see the first
So i just don't start
It's getting worse
I can't find my way in
I try again and again
I'm on the outside of love
Always under or above
Must be a different view
To be a me with a you
Of course I'll be alright
I just had a bad night


My fingernails are still pretty bad. I got scolded by the person sitting next to me at the waaayyyyyyy to early meeting this morning.

Unrelated.

I guess I might have been (and probably still am) confused. I'm just really not sure what is happening next. I really don't like this standstill.


Currently Listening to
Let Go
by Nada Surf

He lives in a little house

On the side of a little hill
Picks the litter from the ground
Litter little brother spills

He gives
I get
Without giving anything to me

And the dogs they run
And the dogs they
And the dogs they run
In the good good morning sun

Side of a little hill
Litter little brother spills
Side of a little hill

Oh and she's always dressed in white
She's like an angel, man
She burns my eyes
Oh and she turns
She pulls a smile
We drive her round
And she drives us wild
Oh and she moves like a little girl
I become a child, man
She moves my world
And she gets splashed in rain
And turns away
and leaves me standing

She lives with an orange tree
The girl that does yoga
Got a wolf to keep her warm
When he comes over

She gives
He gets
Without giving anything to see

And the day it ends
And the day it
And the day it ends
And there's no need for me

The girls that does yoga
When we come over
The girls that does yoga


The puppy (who I've decided to call Piggy, even though that isn't her name), just laid down right next to me, flat on her back with her legs sticking straight up in the air, and immediately fell asleep. Now she is snoring. If I'm not careful, I might die of cuteness.


Currently Listening to
9
by Damien Rice

Giving for chances to

Leave the basement life
And not the landlord's wife.
Furnished room
Celebrate the first flight window
Bird's eye view.

You hardwire
I'll try to play the guitar.
Stay smoke is gone
Pass by the morning
Though we both see it coming
We don't run.
Let the silence settle in our bones.

You are everything you are
Nothing at all.
You are everything you are
Nothing at all.
You are every night you fade
To light you fade
To light the room.
Daylight writes a new light on you.


I never win anything. Until today. I was the first caller to know that Curt Schilling just recently had his streak of 140-some games going at least 5 innings broken. For that, I won 4 tickets to Twin-White Sox on May 8th!!! Man I rock.


Currently Listening to
Grow Up and Blow Away
by Metric

These walls are paper thin

And everyone hears every little sound
Everyone's a voyeur, their watching me
Watch them, watch me right now
They're shakin' hands, they're shakin' in their shoes
Oh Lord, don't shake me down
Everyone wants two of them
And half of everyone else who's around
Its been agreed, the whole world stinks
So no ones taking showers anymore
Laugh hard it's a long way to the bank
I can't be blamed for nothin' anymore
It's been a long time since you've been around
Laugh hard it's a long ways to the bank
Tow the line to tax the time, you know
That you don't owe
I can't be a fool for everyone that I don't know


I've decided that I don't think my fingernails are suffering because of nerves. It is something else. I don't really know what. Probably some subconscious thing. But I'm not nervous today, and I can't keep my hands away from my mouth.


Currently Listening to
The Moon and Antarctica
by Modest Mouse

You've got an extra special heart

A perfect light that shines through
And it seems the hardest part
Is shining back at you
Shining back at you

So forgive me
Cause I don't know what to do
When you look at me
There can be no hesitation
There cannot be a close second to you
I don't know what to do
When you look at me
When you look at me

I've got a perfectly normal heart
Bruised and broken from within
At times I don't know how to start
To let you in here
To let you in here

So forgive me
Cause I don't know what to do
When you look at me
There can be no hesitation
There cannot be a close second to you
I don't know what to do
When you look at me

To let you in here


I have yet to comment on what has happened at Virginia Tech on Monday. I don't think my thoughts really matter in this issue so I'd prefer to keep them to myself.

With that said, I found this article by Mark Steyn very interesting.

Is it true what he says? Have we really turned into a culture of passivity, afraid to protect ourselves? And if its true, is this a good thing? And if its not true, is that a good thing?


Currently Listening to
Beneath Medicine Tree
by Copeland

Some kind of happiness is measured out in miles.

What makes you think you’re something special when you smile.
Child-like yeah, no one understands.
Jack-knife in your sweaty hands.
Some kind of innocence is measured out in years.
You don’t know what it’s like to listen to your fears.
You can talk to me,
If you’re lonely you can talk to me


One day I will learn that I really shouldn't be trying to lift things that are heavier than me. I think that day was yesterday. Ouch.

On a fingernail related note, lately, my pinkies are suffering the worst.


Currently Listening to
Yellow Submarine
by The Beatles

the crisis posed a question

just beneath the skin
the virtue in my veins reply
that quitters never win
she almost ruined everything


In a first for me, I am using the same album for my intro as I used for the last post. Mostly this is because this is pretty much an extension of the earlier post (or I should have said this earlier today).

My fingernails are not happy. I destroyed them today. I am not happy either. They deserve better.


Currently Listening to
Winners Never Quit
by Pedro the Lion

dear unlock the door

you're acting like a child
when you've said it to yourself
we are at war
how dare you turn on me now
right when i need you most
i wish i could have seen their faces when they heard the news
now that's the sort of smack that leaves a bruise

the victory is ours at last
i beat them at their own dirty game
they pervert the words of godly men
for their own selfish gain
i took their wrong and i took their lies
and i made them right, i made them right

oh, look who it is
it's my supportive wife
and she thinks she's going to squeal
hey where do you think you're going?
don't you walk away from me
you put down that telephone
you're not calling anyone


It turns out I have been wrong for a while. It isn't tequila that makes me throw up, it's Cuervo (which, the server so elegantly said is basically just tequila flavored malt liquor). So, if I have the good stuff, top shelf, whatever, I won't automatically throw up.

Unfortunately, even the good stuff gives me a hangover, so I think I'll be staying away from it anyways. (Nothing else gives me hangovers, why must you torment me tequila?)


Currently Listening to
Winners Never Quit
by Pedro the Lion

You can't resist her

She's in your bones
She is your marrow
And your ride home

You can't avoid her
She's in the air (in the air)
In between molecules
Of oxygen and carbon dioxide

Only in dreams
We see what it means
Reach out our hands
Hold on to hers
But when we wake
It's all been erased
And so it seems
Only in dreams

You walk up to her
Ask her to dance
She says, 'Hey baby
I just might take the chance'

You say, 'It's a good thing
That you float in the air (in the air)
That way there's no way
I will crush your pretty
Toenails into a thousand pieces.'

Only in dreams
We see what it means
Reach out our hands
Hold on to hers
But when we wake
It's all been erased
And so it seems
Only in dreams

Only in dreams...


There are a million thoughts flying through my head at the moment. This is a sampling of those:

I probably need to learn to say 'no' sometimes.

Maybe I am wrong about everything I know. OR, maybe you are wrong about everthing you know. Either way, I'm pretty sure that we know a lot less than we think we do.

It's good to know my limits, but maybe it would be even better if I could forget them every once in a while.

Its good to have options, but they aren't always as good as they could be.

Only I control whether or not I am lonely, but sometimes I wish that wasn't the case.

I'm really looking forward to the day I can say goodbye to apartments for good.

There is no point in wishing for the good old days, because they really weren't as good as we think.


Currently Listening to
Weezer (The Blue Album)
by Weezer

They're waking you up to close the bar

The street's wet, you can tell by the sound of the cars
The bartender's singing "Clementine"
While he's turning around the "Open" sign
"Dreadful sorry, Clementine"
Though you're still her man
It seems a long time gone
Maybe the whole thing's wrong
What if she thinks so but just didn't say so?
You drank yourself into slow-mo
Made an angel in the snow
You did anything to pass the time
And keep that song out of your mind
"Oh my darling
Oh my darling
Oh my darling Clementine
Dreadful sorry, Clementine"


This probably isn't news to you, but Don Imus was fired yesterday in response to his 'nappy headed hoes' comment. I've come to a few conclusions.

First of all, Imus has been irrelevant for years and had only held onto his job this long because he had been there a long time (kind of like Sid Hartman here). He can claim that he isn't racist, but his track record proved otherwise.

More importantly, though, is that there are a million other Don Imuses/Imi/Imusses (how would you pluralize that?) out there. And they all have radio shows. This morning I heard one talk radio hack compare Imus's firing to the Holocaust. This is nothing like the Holocaust. The same guy, two days ago, claimed that there is absolutely no demonstrated harm from second hand smoke. I understand the importance of defending your position, but we don't need hyperbole and lies.

In the end, I think one person got it right. Although Imus was wrong and did deserve his punishment, there is a bigger issue at hand, and that is the commonness of this very language in other places.


Currently Listening to
Elliott Smith
by Elliott Smith

Wipe the make-up from your face

Tie your hair and gently fall from grace
Until I come again
Take the disaffected life
Men who ran the company ran your life
You could have been his wife

I wanna love you but my hands are tied
I wanna stay here but I've been denied
Lets watch the clock until the morning sun does rise

Wipe the sweat from off your brow
All that you believe is here and now
You could have had more doubt

Wipe the shadow from your eyes
Rest your daughter while your mother cries
You could have let him fly

I wanna hold you but my hands are tied
I wanna stay here but I've been denied
I wanna lie here 'til we've killed this bitter doubt


I think my fingernails are, temporarily, getting better. Do I have a million things to do in the next few days? Definitely. Am I letting it get to me? Not anymore.

Sure, there is a thing or two that I'm still a little nervous about, but I can handle it.


Currently Listening to
Love is Here
by Starsailor

The streets are dark, my pulse is flat-lined as I'm running to you

You sit completely unaware of what I'm about to do
The air is thick with tension much like when we are together
My fangs are aching as I'm pondering about you and I forever

As I round your corner
I am nervous that you won't be my lover
I knock three times and hope that my pale complexion won't blow my cover
You answer the door with your innocent face
Would you like to leave this human race, tonight?

Eternity will never be enough for me
and eternally will live our infallible love

My brain is pumping an unusual secretion of lust
Your eyes are softer now
and your chin, it drips a bloody color of rust
I am raising up the stakes of this round, I am playing for keeps
Oh, would you like to leave this human race, tonight?

Eternity will never be enough for me
and eternally will live our infallible love

Follow me into the sea
We'll drown together and immortalize you and me
Leave behind this lonely town
We're both better than this, it's not worth being down


I think it is interesting that pro athletes are fined/suspended for things that happen outside of the game. If I got a DWI on my way home from work, I wouldn't be suspended from my job. This is true for the majority of Americans.

Of course, pro athletes are also role models, and more importantly, representatives of the league. As a representative, if the group you are representing doesn't like something you do, they definitely have the power to reprimand you as they see fit.

Although Christ Henry and Adam Jones definitely have to take responsibility for their own mistakes, I also think that the NFL Players Union is partially to blame. Many of the athletes (in any sport) who have multiple run-ins with the law come from poor backgrounds. They grew up on the streets committing petty crimes because that was the only way they knew how to survive. Now, they have been given piles of money, at a young age, and they are just expected to grow out of it? They need to be taught how to be responsible for their actions and how to become responsible adults.

I'm only 23. I'm new to being an adult, myself. But it is blatantly obvious to me. When you give a 19 year old gangster $1 million, they aren't going to suddenly become an outstanding citizen. They are going to be a millionaire 19 year old gangster.

Hands down, they need better programs to educate the young athletes entering the leagues.


Currently Listening to
One Fell Swoop
by The Spill Canvas

The ashtray says

You were up all night
When you went to bed
With your darkest mind

Your pillow wept
You covered your eyes
And you finally slept
While the sun caught fire

You've changed

We fell in love
In the key of C
We walked along
Down by the sea

You followed me down
The neck to D
We fell again
Into the sea

You've changed
Oh, you've changed

Maybe all I need is a shot in the arm . . .

Something in my veins, bloodier than blood . . .

The ashtray says
You were up all night
When you went to bed
With your darkest mind

You've changed
Oh, you've changed

What you once were isn't what you want to be anymore


I can't remember ever having writers block before. So, I don't really know how to get out of it. I have so much to create, but no inspiration.

My fingernails are not going to like this.


Currently Listening to
Summer Teeth
by Wilco

PS. New Wilco album coming out May 15th. I'm pretty darn excited

The things we laid do not amount to much

made of abandoned wood loose stones and such

this revolution baby
proves who you work for lately

release the castaways who run amok
from self appointed winds which blow and such
when present tense gets strangled in the mire
made of our cozy decomposing wires

who do you work for baby
and does it work for you lately

but when the night is over and the walls start burning
when fire starts to matter and the clock is churning
cliches and other chatter keeps our minds from
learning

it's alright

the things we laid do not amount to much
made up of thought balloons and cotton swabs
when present tense gets strangled in the woes
made of our future foe scenarios


this revolution baby
proves who you work for lately
who do you work for baby
and does it work for you lately

but when the night is over and the walls keep linking
when fire starts to matter and the clock keeps sinking
cliches and other chatter keeps our minds from
thinking
our minds keep thinking

it's alright

that's when it turned on me
a motorcade of 'meant to be's’
parades of beauty queens
where soft entwines make kindling
these many detailed things
like broken nails and plastic rings
will win by keeping me
from speaking to my new darling
and there's no way to know
our future foe scenarios
that's when it turned on me
where bobby pins hold angel wings

it's alright


Nerves are getting the better of my fingertips. Suddenly way to much is going on at once. I'm probably not helping to make it better. Right now, I want to jump 2 months into the future.


Currently Listening to
Carnavas
by Silversun Pickups

Lift up your head

Focus on every detail
Why does this illusion bring so much confusion
When all I can dream of is you
Lift up your head
We're rising with every breath
A liquid solution a chemical fusion
When all I can dream of is you

Constantly feeling the earth spinning around
But I'm standing alone
With you I see stars in your eyes
In a trance I'm so high
With you I survive
Let's get away now!

Imagine there's no one around
Imagine you're not just a face in the crowd
There's a new set of rules
No more pain of confusion
You're numb to the world that you know
I'm constantly feeling like nothing's bringing me down
cause you're always around
With you I see stars in your eyes
In a trance we're alive
Ten feet off of the ground
Let's turn it up now!

I got you
I got you
I got you
It's ready for you

Lift up your head
It's amazing where everyone goes in the end
Why does this illusion bring so much confusion
When all I can dream of is you

I'm on the ground
I'm off the ground
Ten feet off (when I'm with you)
Ten feet off (when I'm with you)

I could be true with you
I could be through with you

Don't you get it we're alive
Completely out of sight
We're running out of time
With love we can survive

Don't you get it we're alive
Completely out of sight
With love we will survive


Whoever designed my desk did a horrible horrible job. The supports for the keyboard portion don't have to go right where my knee belongs. Right now I don't want to ever walk again!


Currently Listening to
Welcoming Home the Astronauts
by Flickerstick

It's a night of many frightening things to take in

It's not the way we please ourselves or our friends
It's what we won't accept
It's what will scare us now
Is ourselves, it's ourselves

So tonight as I walk
The moon makes faces at the trees
It's so nice to make fun of everything that I lost,
And I miss, and I love but never had

Tonight I'm gonna take a test to grow up
So I'm sorry for the things I've done to everyone
It's not your face I can't tell
But I try to be this way
It's my own

So tonight as I walk
The moon makes faces at the trees
It's so nice to make fun of everything that I lost,
And I miss, and I love but never had

It's what I can't accept
It's what I can't accept
It is what I can't accept

So tonight as I walk
The moon makes faces at the trees
It's so nice to make fun of everything that I lost,
And I miss, and I love but never had

I'm so happy I could...


I think you might be wrong. Certainly you are much more experienced in this. But I think you might be wrong.


Currently listening to
I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business
by I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business

She is a dying dandelion floating on the breeze

Swirling sweetly in the evening
She is the stars glowing gorgeously
She is the sloping clouds

Forever scrolling
Unfolding

She is the sun burned blue and shadows on the moon
She is the morning dew
Dangling on leaves leaking into streams

Forever flowing
Unfolding
No one can say her name

Now she sits and sings something about my dreams
Hours go by before she looks at me
She breaks my heart
As I open my eyes to drink the melon sky


I see everything in front of me. Yet still I'm paranoid. Maybe there is something I missed. Or maybe I thought I saw something that wasn't there. Or maybe I'm right. Well . . . hope for the best prepare for the worst.

I'm still doing horribly as far as chewing my fingernails goes. So, at least temporarily, this will become a running diary about chewing my fingernails. This will probably be boring as hell for all three of you that read this, but I am hoping that it will help. If it doesn't, I'll stop writing about it, if it does, suck it up because I'm going to stick with what works. So without further adieu. . . Tonight I literally spoke to Katie about chewing my nails and then immediately starting doing it. I just can't stop. This may be hopeless.


Currently Listening to
In Reverie
by Saves the Day

Load up on guns and bring your friends

It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over bored and self assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word

Hello, hello, hello, how low?

With the lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My Libido
Yay!

I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

Hello, hello, hello, how low?

And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it was hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

hello, hello, hello, how low?


Dave game me an excellent CD by some French guy named M. He sounds kind of like a modern version of Chicago. It really blew me away the first time I heard it, but I am having a really hard time getting over the fact that it is in French. There is always the distinct possibility that these are the cheesiest lyrics in the world, and I don't know it because I can't understand them.

On an unrelated note, I've decided things would be a lot easier if I were to stop thinking and just follow along. But I'm simply not sure if I am capable of that.


Currently Listening to
Nevermind
by Nirvana