The End

2008-11-17T15:31:00.002-06:00

This isn't necessarily a new song as much as it is a reworking of a previous song. I was never quite satisfied with the old version. I like this one much more.

The End

Let go
of everything
that used to be
let go of all of it
and see what you're missing
You're coming back
altered reality
waiting here for you
is changing everything

Its beautiful
the sky tonight
can't see the stars
but trust they're there
they're watching us
see through the light
this is the end
this is the end

and like
the razor on you're wrist
the ruby red it flows elegantly
and like
a late December day
our words hang with our breath
in the cold air

Its beautiful
the sky tonight
can't see the stars
but trust they're there
they're watching us
see through the light
this is the end
this is the end

not ready to pay
for another fucking mistake
I knew it was a bad idea
but you. . .

Just Collin Music

2008-11-14T13:30:00.003-06:00

Song of the Week is done, but I said I would still post songs here occasionally. This is going to be the new heading for them "Just Collin Music". Because these aren't songs I'm playing with any band, they are just me.

A Hell of a Difference

More words just bring on more confusion
Here's a taste that you can't forget
I can still remember your face
from the first day that we met

Settle for a used solution
A sip of wine and your soaking wet
Convince yourself of an illusion
ignore the things you've become instead

and who knew it could come to this?
and who knew it could come?

We fell in love

2008-11-14T13:27:00.002-06:00

In the key of C
We walked along
Down by the sea

You followed me down
The neck to D
We fell again
Into the sea

You've changed
Oh, you've changed

Maybe all I need is a shot in the arm

What you once were isn't what you want to be anymore

There is something about this part of the year that just makes your feet feel heavier.

Currently Listening to
Summer Teeth
by Wilco

I'm your only friend

2008-10-27T10:33:00.003-06:00

I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

Just an update, since I haven't posted in forever.

I have been working on Song of the Week still, but I haven't been posting the songs. A lot of my writing right now is going towards my new band MonthNumberColor and I don't want to post the songs here out of respect for the other people in the band. That being said, there are a couple of songs that are not going to be used by the band that I will be posting in the next day or so.

Currently listening to
Flood
by They Might Be Giants

What fills the magic in the meantime?

2008-08-22T07:57:00.002-06:00

I know it’s hard without a vice,
You need to find a new solution,
Adaptation or retribution,
If you truly do believe in something,
Somehow it all works out.

I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I start

I'm completely bored
With every single word
And nothing ever works
And this juvenile search
Is systematically revealing to me
That I need a new approach

So sick of all the things I'm trying to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I...

I hate growing up. I had greasy pizza for lunch yesterday. It then tortured me for the rest of the day. A few years ago I could eat shit for a week straight and I wouldn't feel any different then when I started. Not anymore. If this is what I'm like at 25, I can't even imagine how I'm going to have to eat at 50.

Currently Listening to
Even If It Kills Me
by Motion City Soundtrack

At night the stars cry.

2008-08-19T09:24:00.004-06:00

I gaze upon a lake of backyard.
And under these overpasses a towering mountain does lie.
But don't cross the river, not over there.
There will be a mystery revealed that we're meant to share.
So if I am to seek this place y'all can see
Whose Chariot to follow so I can be free?

My thoughts on the presidential election as expressed by someone else on a random message board:

None of it is important. President is the most overrated position in the world. A trained monkey would do no better and no worse. In fact, I'd vote for a trained monkey over any human.

I can't really say it any better.

Currently listening to
In Between Now and Then
by O.A.R.

Clear as a bell are the short breaths

2008-08-18T22:43:00.002-06:00

That you take when you're distracted.
Same as the way that you roll your eyes
When I've asked too many stupid questions.

My faith in zeroes and ones to host our romance,
Rests on hope you gave that I've some claim to your heart.

I wouldn't mind but you are my only hope.
I wouldn't mind but you are my only hope.

I've decided to use my blog more. Not so much for other people to read, but for me to have yet one more way to return to a specific point in time and try and figure out what was going through my head. (That makes sense to me althoug I don't know if it really says what I mean for it to say)

Anyways . . .

Right now I am frustrated by my inability to act. It seems my confidence is not up where it should be.

Currently listening to
The Only Reason I Feel Secure
by Pedro the Lion

Song of the Week #18

2008-07-20T23:10:00.005-06:00

Finally an update! My apartment is by no means unpacked, but I do have the basic recording equipment set up, so here is the first new song. I have a few others that will be posted in the next couple of days. I have quite a bit to make up.

This Fight

Your revolutions over
go on and wave your white flag
No point in bearing arms now
No sense in your fists clenching

I fought this fight for too long
and I fought this fight for too long

This argument is over
There is no right no wrong now
We are both losing in the end
We all are losing in the end

Get away get away get away if you know

I fought this fight
this fight for too long
I fought this fight
this fight for too long
So get away, get away,
get away if you know what is good for you
I fought this fight
this fight for too long

Random Update (Long Overdue)

2008-06-09T00:54:00.002-06:00

You may have noticed that I haven't posted a song in quite a while. Between Wyoming, Camping, and moving, I have had absolutely no time to record and post songs. Not to mention the fact that I didn't have internet for a majority of that time, and now that I do have internet, I still don't have my recording "studio" set up. So it will still be a bit before the songs get back on track. With that in mind, I have been writing, and I still plan on 52 this year, so Song of the Week will be Songs for a while here.

Song of the Week #17

2008-05-11T23:30:00.003-06:00

I've got nothing. I'm not looking forward to being 25, but everyone already knows that.

Blocked

In a moment of weakness I forget how to think
not that I'm not trying, just there isn't a thing.

Song of the Week #16

2008-05-04T22:00:00.003-06:00

This song is in F#. When you don't play guitar all that often, just randomly playing in F# for a whole day really does a number on your fingers.

Get It Right (This Time)

Singing on this couch alone
Guess there's no one listening
And this time I call my own
Convenient Definition
The TVs on
It just fills the space
Don't pay attention
It can't say the right things

I saw a life lived all alone
Don't need explanations
Doesn't really need a home
When there's nothing waiting
Sure the space is filled
With some forgettable things
You'd give it all away
For a little meaning

And we try to get it right this time.

Song of the Week #15

2008-04-27T22:02:00.003-06:00

This song is kind of short as far as my songs go.

mile

If I could walk a mile in your shoes
I would just be on my way
Because I know I never could do
half the things you did

It seems the rooms a bit too quiet now
No one could fill the space like you did
And if the skies not quite as bright today
I know the sun is mourning too

If I could walk a mile in your shoes
I would just be on my way
Because I know I never could do
half the things you did
And its way too late for thank you
but I know your listening
Its just a part of the thing
I wish I could say

I wish I could say
I wish you could stay.

Song of the Week #14

2008-04-13T22:45:00.004-06:00

Again, sloppy guitar playing. :(
Oh well. I intend to "finish" this song later this week.

Spark

While we're waiting for the sun to fall
Can we count on future stars?
Things keep changing while the lights still on
forced to see just who we are.

And if this day, it does end
and we've not done a new thing
we know that it turns out the same

Can't start a fire without a spark
Can't see a thing when its so dark
in here
Can't feel the rain without the sky
Can't see tomorrow without tonight
from here

While we're waiting for the sky to fall
or the street lamps to light up
forced to witness all the things we've broke
the pieces exposed by the sun

Song of the Week #13

2008-04-06T23:57:00.002-06:00

Bleh. The guitars are really sloppy, and I definitely should have played with a metronome. This really isn't the right format for this song. Its just not as good acoustic.

Words

Safe to say I'm at a loss for word
Hard to find a chorus or a verse
Try to scream but it just sounds rehearsed
I can't see how this could get much worse

I wish I had some other words (to tell you)

Seems to me I should have so much to say
I can't find the words to fill the space
just be aware that nothing is ok
and none of this will ever go away

Song of the Week #12

2008-03-31T00:18:00.001-06:00

Huge writers block this week, so I've just gone with an unfinished song from a few weeks ago. I can't find the lyrics right now, but if I do I'll post them later.

If Only

i'm waiting for the train

2008-03-24T09:18:00.002-06:00

the subway that only goes one way
the stupid thing that will come to pull us apart
and make everybody late
you spent everything you had
wanted everything to stop that bad
and now i'm a crushed credit card registered to smith
not the name that you call me with
you turned white like a saint
i'm tired of dancing on a pot of gold flake paint
oh we're so very precious, you and i
and everything that you do makes me want to die
oh i just told the biggest lie
i just told the biggest lie
the biggest lie

I hate being sick. It really, truly sucks. I couldn't finish my song for last week because of it :( I will make it up, though, I am not going to fall short of 52, I might need to do two next week (or this week if I am better soon enough).

Currently Listening to
Elliott Smith
by Elliott Smith

Song of the Week #11

2008-03-16T23:56:00.005-06:00

I think I would be much better off with a lyricist helping me out. Also, I had mentioned to some people that I was thinking about trying to do a solo show sometime, but lately I'm thinking that if I tried that, most of the night would be noise that only I would find interesting . . .

Before

Its nothing I haven't heard before
Sit by the window, keep your eyes on the door
still looking for something to adore
keep in step unsure what towards

Song of the Week #10

2008-03-09T23:20:00.003-06:00

I hate loosing an hour of sleep. But that is a story for another day. This song is short and sweet.

leave me alone

didn't want to write this song
but you just wouldn't leave me alone

didn't want to write this song
but you just wouldn't leave me alone

leave me alone
leave me alone
leave me alone
leave me alone.

Song of the Week #9

2008-03-02T22:56:00.003-06:00

Here is #9. Also, some of you have heard this before, but I really wish I had an accordion. I don't know if I would have used it on this or not, but that is beside the point. I really want one. Really . . . really.

If I Were A Doctor

If I were a doctor
I'd operate on your lungs
So every breath you'd take would be so sweet
So every breath you'd take you'd think of me

If I were a singer
I'd write you a special song
One I wrote just for you
and I'd hope you'd sing along

But I'm not a singer
just a guy with a guitar
and I'm not a doctor
just another broken heart.

Song of the Week #8

2008-02-25T22:47:00.003-06:00

This is kind of out there for me. A special prize for the first one to name the poet!*

Before We Knew

And then a day as huge
as yesterdays in pairs
unrolled its horror in my face
until it blocked my eyes

It seemed so easy (before we knew)

I dropped so low in my Regard
I heard it hit the ground
and go to pieces on the stone
at bottom of my mind

*- there isn't really a special prize.

Song of the Week update

2008-02-24T23:47:00.001-06:00

This weeks isn't going to be posted until tomorrow night. It is 95% done, but I need to sing loudly, and I don't think my sleeping neighbor would appreciate that right now, so I'm going to wait until tomorrow for that part.

Could've been a night like any other

2008-02-23T14:14:00.002-06:00

One of us has to drive
One of us gets to think
I'll force a laugh to break the silence
It's gonna get harder still
Before it gets easy
You can't keep safe what whats to break

I'm alone in this
I'm all as I've always been
Right behind what's happening
She's all lost in this
She's all like she'll always be
A little far for me to reach

The game is this: Open up iTunes (or your media player of choice), turn on shuffle, and list the first 10 songs it plays. Here we go.

1. The Streets - Blinded By The Lights
2. Minus the Bear - Pony Up
3. Blindside - Where the Sun Never Dies
4. Jesus Christ Superstar - Trial Before Pilate
5. Cake - Up So Close
6. Ben Harper - Brown Eyed Blues
7. Les Miserables - Valjean's Confession
8. Wilco - Impossible Germany
9. Project 86 - Me Against Me
10. Ray Charles - Sticks and Stones

Wow. I suppose that is a decent representation of my music library, if only because it is all over the place.

Currently Listening to
Chase This Light
by Jimmy Eat World

There's rows and rows of house, with windows painted blue.

2008-02-21T23:38:00.003-06:00

With the light from the t.v. running parallel to you.
But there is no sunken treasure, rumored to be.
Wrapped inside my ribs in a sea black with ink.
I am so out of tune with you, I am so out of tune with you.
If I had a mountain, I'd try to fold it over.
If I had a boat, you know I'd probably roll over.
And I leave it on the shore, I'd leave it for somebody.
Surely there's somebody who needs it more than me.
I am so out of tune with you, I am so out of tune with you.
All the leaves will burn and autumn fires then return.
All the fires we burn, all will return.
Music is my savior, and I was maimed by rock and roll.
I was maimed by rock and roll.
I was tamed by rock and roll.
I got my name from rock and roll.

My sense of humor is a little strange, to say the least. I make references to things that only I know about. I say things that I know the other person won't get unless they are on the exact same page as me, which is a pretty damn difficult page to find. This is never more painfully obvious than when I meet someone new. I used to be a very shy guy. I put a lot of effort into overcoming that when I meet people, but it is really hard when I have nothing to say, because no one is going to get it if I open my mouth.

Currently Listening to
Being There
by Wilco

Cause this is what you've waited for

2008-02-21T01:21:00.002-06:00

A chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow

Cause I'm clearing up this wreckage Lord
And there's more than you've ever seen before

So if you have something to say
Say it to me now

If I were a major league pitcher, I would be a set-up guy. I used to be a starter. I've never been a closer. But right now I would be an excellent set-up guy.

Don't ask me what that means. I know it, but I don't want to explain it.

Currently Listening to
Once Soundtrack
by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

Paramedics brave and strong

2008-02-20T09:07:00.002-06:00

Up before the break of dawn
Putting poker faces on
Broken bodies all day long
The neighbors heard a fight
Someone had a knife
It must have have been the wife
Husband's lost a lot of blood
He wakes up screaming
"Oh my God, am I gonna die?
Am I gonna die?"
As they strapped his arms down to his sides
At times like these they'd been taught to lie
"Buddy just calm down, you'll be alright"

Several friends came to his grave
His children were so well-behaved
As the priest got up to speak
The assembly craved relief
But he himself had given up
So instead he offered them this bitter cup
"You're gonna die, we're all gonna die
Could be twenty years, could be tonight
Lately I have been wondering why
We go to so much trouble to postpone the unavoidable
And prolong the pain of being alive"

I can't get enough of Pearls Before Swine:

Currently Listening to
Control
by Pedro the Lion

collinwho